It’s my dream
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When I was growing up, I dreamed of becoming a doctor, a writer, a scientist, a professor, but I never imagined anything athletic. When I “fearlessly” decided to take a trip a few years ago to climb Mt Cotopaxi and Mt Kilimanjaro, I had not the slightest idea of what mountaineering was. Without much training, I barely survived the climb, but I was proud and surprised by what I had accomplished. Even then, I never gave it more thought beyond my natural curiosity and adventurous spirit.
In November of 2003, I moved to Boston. Having no friends in this new city and intimidated by the famous New England winter in an unfamiliar world, I hadn’t even ventured out for one outdoor running or to take one trip out of the city during this first winter. Strangely, when I learned that a documentary film “Touching the Void” was coming to Boston, I felt an uncontrollable urge to see it despite the fact that I had to walk quite a distance on one of the coldest nights of the winter to get there. The film was about how a strong-willed English climber, who broke his leg during a first ascent attempt in Peru and was left behind by his partner, managed to get out of the glacier on his own without eating and sleeping for three days and nights. That was like a superman story to me. Other than feeling so impressed by his story, I didn’t personally relate to it at all.
A few months later, another documentary film “Women of K2” came to Boston. Again, I felt that I had to see it. From that movie, I learned the grim fact that, by 2003(when the movie was made), there were only 5 women in the world that had summited K2, but not one of them is still alive (between 2004 and 2007, 4 women have succeeded). Some died while descending; some died on other mountains later. Though I felt K2 belongs to some special supermen, I was very inspired by their adventurous spirit. The next day, I borrowed all the videos related to Everest climbing from the library and finished them in one breath. Half way through, I began to put myself into the picture, and soon felt my heart fixed on Everest. Though I knew how weak I was when I climbed Cotopaxi and Kilimanjaro, I couldn’t stop the voice in my head saying, “I want to climb Everest”. Well, if I’m going to do Everest, why not do all 7 summits (the highest peak on each of the seven continents) then? After more research, I was shocked to find out that there are Korean women and Japanese women who have accomplished the 7 summits, but no Chinese women have done it. It would be nice to be the first Chinese woman on the 7 summits!
Once I made the decision, I immediately started researching the 7 summits. I learned that mountaineering is not just hiking; it requires many comprehensive skills including rock climbing, ice climbing, winter survival, wilderness survival, and technical competency in handling all sorts of gear. So I immediately started learning rock climbing, picked up ice climbing the following winter, and initiated a plan to learn all of the necessary technical skills during the following year.
Once I started on this journey, I never stopped. My mind was always filled with all the ideas and plans for my training; my evenings and weekends are always filled with various sports activities. It appeared to friends who knew me before that I became a totally different person. I began to wonder what caused the change. It may appear that some random event inspired me and opened a new door for me. But deep in my heart, I felt that was just who I have always been. I started to recall my high school years when I used to enjoy hiking around in the suburban hills in search of plants for my botanical research projects, and the many weekends that I hiked Xiang Shan, a popular hill near Beijing, with my best friends. That was me, an energetic girl who loved nature and was never afraid of anything. It was the many years of college and graduate study that suppressed my “restless” nature and focused my mind on school and a traditional career. It was very relieving to realize that I actually just reverted back to the original me, instead of discovering a new me.
On the other hand, that realization also caused me to further puzzle about my life. I had just come out of an MBA program with heavy debt, and most of my classmates were working hard on traditional MBA-graduate career tracks. What am I doing here? Am I confusing a hobby with a passion? Am I escaping the real world just for fun? Is there anything wrong with me? It took me a long time through reading and discussing with other friends to finally convince myself that the most important thing was to follow my heart, instead of following the “normal” track. Pursuing a dream, even if I may fail, is better than not trying at all. Life only becomes full of life when you live it with passion. How do you have passion without a dream?
Training actually is a process of pushing the limit further out. When I was 20, the longest distance I ran was just about 1000 meters; now at mid 30s, I can easily keep my training at half marathon to full marathon intensity. Being short and small, I used to easily allow myself to fall behind others; now I take pride in competing in running and climbing, and ignoring the physical advantages of my competitors. On a mountaineering trip, everyone has to carry about the same load of gear and food. A 60 lb pack may be only 1/3 of a normal man’s body weight, but it is more than 50% of my weight. So I just have to be stronger! I was surprised to see myself continuously improving beyond my “limit”. There is no limit, physically, and mentally!
As I am immersed myself in my training, I looked around my activity community, and found very few first-generation Asians, men or women. When I talked to other Chinese friends, I realized that they are more inhibited by mental limits than by physical limits. By our upbringing, we are used to associating competitive sports with Olympic athletes, and believe that only a small, elite group who were born talented and trained since they were young can do it. We are used to believing that only very few special people can run a marathon; mountain climbing is full of risk and is not for “normal” people. We were brought up to learn to live within our limits. Limits are limits; limits can’t be surpassed. I’m sad to see many Chinese in the US still live within their “limits”, giving up challenging their limits far too easily. I’m glad to see that many from the young generation in China have started to look beyond their limits, trying new life styles, exploring new activities. It’s easy to see the spiritual difference between people who live an active life style versus who do not. Active life styles bring more energy, more confidence, and more positive attitudes to a person.
As I myself benefited so much from doing what I am doing, I would like to see more Chinese, no matter where they live, adopt a healthier life style, make our old image of “Dong Ya Bing Fu” (The sick man of Asia) gone forever, make China a truly strong nation! I was just a normal city girl who had no special talent, no special training, but just a strong will and a never-give-up spirit. If I can do it, you can do it. I especially want to support more women to adopt the active life style, break through their limits, and pursue whatever dreams that their hearts take them to. I hope that my process of pursuing my 7summits dream will motivate more Chinese, especially women, to pursue the adventure of their life!